THE SKEPTIC
Take how it has been as for my experience and maturity for instance, I've had it for so many times already and mind you, I am deeply overwhelmed. It sometimes pays to be ahead of some people but this is way out of hand and of my league. I'm getting too much of a beating and it is traumatizing. If every experience were visibly scarring, I'd be a walking keloid! Believe me, you don't wanna empathize. In these instances, I can't help but go to the line where I question my faith. I ask why it's this and that, I rationalize and I end up dazed about the core reason why I walk this earth. Why do we suffer to taste only a meager bit of happiness? Bittersweet is the word. But then I ask, maybe life wouldn't be worth living for if it isn't because of these obstacles? Maybe. Escape or even suicide doesn't even sound convincing. Life would be a total waste. Is life worth all the turmoil? I ask. I think. I wonder. And I’m left out with unanswered queries. I always end up empty handed. Why am I here? What reason do I have for living? What is my mission? What can my contribution be in this already damned humanity? Forgive my blasphemy but I just can't help it. Life for me can be too much to handle, especially with these small hands destined to play a miniscule part in this lifetime. Will I be able to deliver? God, help me...
Sometimes, someone with a Type A personality like me can get overly excited. And I worry, way too much. As for me right now, every tomorrow lets me get a front row peak of hope and that I'll end up having a satisfying life. And that every morning I wake up is another chance for redemption and self-preservation. I have my fingers crossed and in me is a silent prayer that things in this life will be all in our favor. Long live my optimistic alter ego!